The things that obese people (who haven't given up) learn to do everyday.

 Living life as an obese person has obvious disadvantages, for sure. I'm sure if you asked any random person on the street, they could give you several health-related examples of why it is not good to be obese. 


This blog entry is not about those things though, because they are understood, and the entire reason we want to lose weight is to be healthier and live longer. Of course I want to be there to see my kids grow up; of course I want to grow old with my future wife. These things are obvious. Beyond these reasons, however, lie annoying little concerns in our daily lives that I (and everyone who is losing the extra weight with me) will be thrilled to not have to worry ourselves with anymore. Here are a few of them:




Where am I going to sit?

Ah yes- the one that causes angst virtually everywhere you go, at all times. This one is absolutely unavoidable until you are at home, safely tucked away on your couch; a quite welcoming couch, actually- a couch which has conformed into the ideal shape with which to warmly, gently, and perfectly receive you after a long hard day of sitting in other places. I'm sitting on it right now, as I write this. 


But alas, society says that we must venture out into the world, among... the people. I myself have been cursed with unending charm and an excellent wit, resulting in relationships- even friendships- with some of these very people. Friendship means hanging out together, and hanging out with other people means time spent not at home. Of course, it is already understood that you won't be included in anything that involves actual activity - things like hiking, bike riding, or basically anything outdoors. Instead of feeling guilty that they know better than to invite us (like we should), we learn to pick our spots, making ourselves available at night for sedentary activities like going to the movies, going to a bar, watching a game, etc. 


At this point, though, our job is only halfway done. Last month I had plans to go watch a fight at a friend-of-a-friend's house. I had never met the host, and had never met half of the people who were going to be there. Instead of being pumped up for the fight and having a fun time with my boys, I was all hung up on where I was going to sit and whether I would be comfortable. When we arrived, I found myself a nice little spot on a large chair at the end of the living room, and was comfortable. I could finally relax and enjoy myself, that is of course until it came time to get up to go get another beer or to use the restroom. Then it was time to make a contingency plan for where I was going to sit if someone took my spot. 


This stuff never ends. Better make sure to get to the movies early so I can make sure to sit in the middle of the theater so nobody has to climb past me to get in or out of their seat. Hopefully the karaoke bar has more than just bar stools, because I can't sit on one for more than 15 minutes before my back hurts. I much prefer a booth, but only if the table is not bolted down. If it is, then it's going to have to be a table; hopefully the chairs don't have arms on them. I can sit in them if they do, but it's going to be quite uncomfortable. School, where they use the old desk/chair combos? Sorry, but there's no avoiding the humiliation that comes with sitting in one chair with the desk flipped up and turning the seat in front of you around backwards so you can use it's desk. What better indication that something needs to be done than the fact that you LITERALLY take up two desks?


As a matter of fact, my first real victory will come this Fall, when I take my seat normally like all the other students :)




Have I done everything possible to minimize how big I look?

This one is fairly silly, but we still do it anyway. It's not like anyone is going to miss the fact that we are heavy, but still, we don't want to flaunt it. 


This is why big people will often buy their clothing even larger than necessary. If I have to be big anyway, I at least want a shirt that is going to hang comfortably, without being too tight. I have to think that a shirt that is a little big is much better than a shirt that is a little small, right? 


This is also why throw pillows are a heavy person's best friend. Ideally, I am sitting in the corner of the couch with the arm covering one side, and a throw pillow on my other hip. There's no real reason for it, and in reality it makes you look bigger if anything. It just... feels like it doesn't look as bad if most of my waist is covered. I know it doesn't make sense, but it also doesn't make sense to make excuses for being overweight for 10 years. 




You never see me eat much, if at all.

Some people have conditions, illnesses, or injuries that will never allow them to do what is necessary to lose the weight. It is just an unfortunate fact of life for these people, just as any other person who has to deal with one of the thousands upon thousands of things that can effect our lives which we have no control over. These people can do no more about their condition as someone can do about the fact that he was born blind. 


That being said, there is a LARGE amount of  guilt that comes with letting yourself get fat through sheer laziness and unwillingness to be a responsible eater. This guilt compounds the longer you keep the weight on knowing you have the means and ability to lose it, and you start to feel like those around you can sense this guilt. So what do we do?


Well, the right thing to do would be to go ahead and lose it, but for some reason we are unwilling to do that at first. So what's the next best thing? Pretend! 


That's right, pretend I'm trying to get a handle on it.  Eat the double cheeseburger and fries (and DIET soda, lol) in my car before I walk into work, but bring the side salad in with me. Tuck it away, and pull it out later when the break room is full of people. Brilliant, right? (eyeroll) What, your office doesn't have a 300 pound vegetarian?


The worst part about all of these nuisances is that they are all completely transparent. We are not fooling anybody any more than the guy who smokes a cigarette in his car and then pops a lifesaver in his mouth. We know we are not fooling anybody, but we can't help it. Being fat is just so uncomfortable... add the guilt on top and it becomes too much to bear. 


I believe there are some real psychological issues that come with being overweight, and these habits are just some manifestations of these psychological issues. If I can manage to get my thoughts on the subject organized, I will probably write an entire blog post on the psychological effects of being overweight. For now, it is just important that we recognize the signs that it is time to make a change, and allow ourselves the room to give it a shot. It is difficult to accomplish anything in life when we are certain we will fail, and that is the uphill battle that overweight people face; not only do we have to stop the bad habits that got us here, but we have to form NEW habits that are totally against our nature to reverse the process. This seems daunting, but it's possible. It's possible and I am going to do it, and if I can do it, anybody can!